People who cut others off in traffic jams

You know you've been there, bumper to bumper, moving at 5mph down a 65mph interstate or road or whatever, and some jackass decides that your lane is better than his and nudges his bumper to cut. I use the word cut because it reminds me of kindergarten lunch lines. 5 year olds cut in line, adults should be courteous and wait their damn turn. I think most traffic problems occur because the only form of communication while driving are your horn and middle finger.

But anyway traffic cutters, you're going to hell!!! And there's a special place for you. Its a giant traffic jam, in HELL!, and its on a giant circular road. Imagine an Indy-500 size traffic jam. And the only things playing on the radio are things you abhor. For me the stations may include: country, Jimmy Buffet, 80's hair metal, or some other form of bad music. Just remember what saving you 1 minute, and screwing me out of 5 gets you!!!

I hope you all enjoy your eternity gridlock!!!

People who take the elevator to go one floor

Come on people. Are you really so lazy? Do you really need to waste everyone else's time so you can save the 5 calories it takes to walk up one flight of stairs? You could use the exercise, obviously. Do you realize how much energy you've wasted?

There is a special place in hell for you! Your punishments may include one of the following. 1) An endless stairway to heaven with flames licking your ass every step of the way for all eternity. 2) Sharing eternity's slowest moving elevator with the rest of you lazy bastards, all waifing in the heat and pungent perspiration of eachother. 3) Being forced to live forever in David Bowie's strange room from the Labyrinth. 4) An eternity of stairway workouts with Richard Simmons (not that I think he's going to hell, he's a nice guy, just a lil fruity)

Exceptions will be made for disabled people and those who are carrying excessive amounts of baggage/and or pushing carts.

But for the rest of you sinners, start taking the damn stairs!!!