People who take the elevator to go one floor

Come on people. Are you really so lazy? Do you really need to waste everyone else's time so you can save the 5 calories it takes to walk up one flight of stairs? You could use the exercise, obviously. Do you realize how much energy you've wasted?

There is a special place in hell for you! Your punishments may include one of the following. 1) An endless stairway to heaven with flames licking your ass every step of the way for all eternity. 2) Sharing eternity's slowest moving elevator with the rest of you lazy bastards, all waifing in the heat and pungent perspiration of eachother. 3) Being forced to live forever in David Bowie's strange room from the Labyrinth. 4) An eternity of stairway workouts with Richard Simmons (not that I think he's going to hell, he's a nice guy, just a lil fruity)

Exceptions will be made for disabled people and those who are carrying excessive amounts of baggage/and or pushing carts.

But for the rest of you sinners, start taking the damn stairs!!!